Coercive Control & Psychic Mediumship
Psychic mediumship is often associated with openness, sensitivity and communication with the spirit world. But openness should never mean surrendering personal autonomy and boundaries.
For some people, spiritual experiences can become frightening or intrusive when they begin to involve fear, manipulation, dependency, intimidation or loss of control. Understanding these experiences through the lens of coercive control can provide another way of recognising what is happening.
What Is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a hidden and subtle pattern of behaviour designed to dominate, intimidate or undermine another person's sense of freedom and autonomy.
Within spiritual experiences, perceived coercive control may involve:
Repeated intrusive communication
Threats or frightening predictions
Insults, humiliation or shame
Manipulation through fear
Creating uncertainty, dependence and confusion
Presenting as a protector before becoming controlling
Encouraging dependency on a particular spirit, guide or spiritual practice
Testing boundaries repeatedly
Attempting to dictate decisions or behaviour
Becoming more intrusive when boundaries are established
The important feature is the pattern of control, rather than any individual message or experience.
Fear Can Strengthen the Cycle
"Keep Yourself Open"
One belief sometimes encountered within spiritual communities is that a medium should remain open to receive communication. This happens if you following the above teachings or following counselling and therapy practices that tell you to be in the present moment and let your thoughts dissolve without rebuilding them into autonomy or thinking about everyday things.
However, being open does not mean being without boundaries.
A medium can consciously decide:
When to open
When to close
Who they communicate with
What communication they accept
What they reject
When an interaction has become inappropriate
When to return their attention to themselves
Consent and boundaries can exist within spiritual practice.
Recognising Controlling Communication
A useful question is not simply:
"Is this spirit good or bad?"
Instead, consider:
"How does this communication affect my autonomy?", "How does the energy of this spirit feel or look, beyond what they are showing me or putting on to me?"
Communication that repeatedly creates fear, shame, dependency or obedience may be worth stepping back from.
Warning signs can include communication that:
Demands obedience
Tells you that you cannot trust yourself
Claims exclusive authority over your life in subtle ways such as hiding behind a deity
Threatens consequences if you disengage or try to take back control, such as if you don't do the present moment, you are going to lose your mediumship
Encourages you to isolate yourself
Makes you feel powerless
Constantly demands your attention
Becomes hostile when you establish boundaries
Mediumship must always have boundaries.
Ideally, I stay away from spirit guides and communicating with my passed over loved ones too much as this creates dependency and emotional control.
