How I Developed a Demonic Attachment and Possession: How Love, Light, Present Moment and Consciousness Practice Put Me in Danger
Following a huge response from people reaching out to me explaining they have experienced the same, I have decided it is time to tell my story. There is also a gentleman called Richard Ford who has had a similar experience: https://www.amazon.com/Foreign-Whispers-Telepathic-Richard-Fort/dp/1069903108. I also had a family member tell me, her uncle a psychic medium, had also experienced possession.
It all started when a mental health nurse told me to start noticing my thoughts flowing on a river and just observe my thoughts without judgement. I came off antidepressants and my mindset was frightened and scared. This then led me to releasing, shadow work, Eckhart Tolle and Michael Singer, Jo dispenza. My experience began when I became interested in present-moment meditation and the idea of becoming detached from thoughts. At the time, I believed that reducing my attachment to thinking would help me become calmer and more present.
Another trick in the book is gurus telling you there is a spirit 'higher self' under the 'ego' with a personality that is love and light. There was one book I read and I cannot for the life of me remember her name, I am saddened by this as I now believe she was communicating with a demonic being, pretended to be her higher self. She also started telepathically communicating with a being 'her higher self' it told her we all have personas and a soul underneath which is hidden by this'persona'. The book had thousands of five star reviews and encouragement. The demonic being would tell me to 'fuck off with my impersonater' by this they meant I am in my ego, to try and shame me into breaking down my walls for it to start controlling.
I became increasingly focused on observing my thoughts rather than allowing them to occur naturally. But this was because, I started to notice a voice speaking to me, it was invasive and intrusive. It said things that counteracted, intimidated and played on my triggers. Over time, however, I noticed that my relationship with my own thoughts was changing.
As my thoughts were coming and going naturally, my cognition's were becoming frozen in time and my nervous system was empty, causing heavy dissociation. I started to become hypervigilant to these voices, sensations, images and other experiences that I previously would not have given the same level of attention.
For me, this eventually became overwhelming. I began experiencing thoughts and perceptions that felt different from my usual internal experience. Because I was already monitoring my consciousness and this invasive, shapeshifting being (voice and presentation) so closely, I started to become telepathic. I couldn't answer back to this being because my mind was so relaxed. Instead, my cognition was frozen, I started to speak what the spirit was saying (channelling), my weight dropped 1 and a half stone. There is a case on a podcast where an exorcist speaks of a young lady who started speaking foreign language as she had extreme fear due to playing with an ouji board and the spirit bullied her senses so she would suppress them, her cognition became frozen in the same way.
No sage was working, no Jesus Christ, no cross, it wanted me to believe it worked so I would be comfortable being hypervigilated on religion and 'put back to sleep in my fear' - sorry, but that's what happens, its another form of psychological control. It would tell me things and my brain would automatically accept what it was saying as I had no internal structure to direct my consciousness, it had become suppressed making way for this being to put it's consciousness in my body. It would give me invasive sacral energy (incubus) and as an observer we are told to let it leave naturally rather than fight (it's all over counselling and therapy practices).
It was demanding, insulting and sexually degrading. It would pretend to be passed over loved ones and I could not sense whether this was a loved one or a demon because I was unable to recruit any sort of psychic sensation as my whole nervous system was frozen I could not feel or sense. Due to this, it would also tell me it was here to protect me, then delighted in my fear when it shapeshifted again into a frightening being. They can work if the person comes out of fear response, but these things have a short term response and like OCD the compulsion has to be continued repeatedly, its not doing the root work. I did not want to compulse every time I had a fear, I knew this was the wrong road for me as I was still under it's control.
The worst part came when I decided to put my thoughts back in my head and this instantly sent a HUGE rush of chemicals through my whole charka system, I felt like I was choking, I had the worst stomach pain I had ever experienced, ect. I could not believe how frozen my whole body was, my belief 'the chemical imbalance is debunked' did not help, there surely are chemicals in our body and even if we are a hologram we still have a body that works with our thoughts, clearly. Sadly, I see people who meditate online arguing with people about this believing there are no chemicals at all that influence our body mechanisms. The only thing pharma did not mention is we can control the chemicals with our thoughts, beliefs and manifestations.
It then stepped up it sadistic ways, looking for a trigger in a different way, it would hurl words such as 'labotomy', ect at me. It screams to get my attention, it also keeps telling me to 'keep it open' this means being in an observing space only so my congition disappear again. They want you to believe their threats and their sadistic future predictions, some people do. One thing I did notice was.. although the telepathy had subsided massively, I could still hear in my clairaudience. I then came across coercive control, for me this changed the game. This is exactly what the demon wanted and how it was controlling me, using this. It mimiced the abuse I had experienced previously.
Over time as my brain repaired, I started to acknowledge my body, my consciousness listens to what I tell it, I started to say to the demon 'I am not listening to you', 'shut up' - it went away. However, it still invaded my inner seeing by punching me, showing me sexual images, putting ugly beings there, ect. I started to become stronger and more directive in my boundaries, I started accepting what I was telling myself, I am in control - you do not control me. I stopped observing every spiritual encounter, just allowing them to come and go. Doing this was putting my energy on the demon who would push other spirits out the way. But now I had my psychic senses back, I could sense its disgusting energy and put my awareness back on to the communicating spirit, ect.
Honestly, the shadow work makes things worse, it's literally as simple as being educated on coercive control, being empowered and having a strong sense of self and boundaries. Standing up to them and saying now. What I find works, is standing up to the anxiety and telling it no, sometimes it will persist but you persist with it and keep answering it back. Allowing fear to be there also and pushing past it is huge also, not allowing it to rule.
I have not stopped being a psychic medium; it is something I am passionate about, like I said it does not control me. I have free will to do whatever I want in this path, I just have to work around things that are out of my control like when it tries to hijack, I simply set a boundary. One thing, they will shame you for being in this mindset, it is important you do not accept what they tell you.
Today, my memory is still recovering. It took a long while for my brain to get out of the loop of pushing my thoughts away after observing, I tackled this by starting internal monologue, recalling memories, playing crosswords, watching TV ect.
Has the surveiling spirit disappeared, no it has not - a narcissistic energy never does, they still come back to test the waters now and again to see if you will drop your guard. I do not believe in spirit guides anymore not communicating with my own passed over loved ones to avoid emotional control.
Looking back, I believe that the level of hypervigilance and hyperfocus was an important part of what happened to me. Along with, teachings such as having no boundaries, surrender, higher frequency of love and light will block them out (it does not).
Sadly, a lot of people and society do not believe in spirit and energy and end up highly medicated and still in the control of the demon/attachment, their consciousness never free from control. Some do wake up and decide to take fate into their own hands - but it does take a fighter spirit and a sense of not allowing critics and others to direct you in life. These beings crave you being in uncertainty, it is how they control you.
My experience has changed the way I think about consciousness, spirituality, mediumship and unusual experiences of perception. I am not suggesting that my interpretation of what happened is the only possible explanation. I recognise that experiences of this nature can be understood in different ways. What I can speak about with certainty is what the experience was like for me and what eventually helped me feel like myself again.
For me, recovery was not about eliminating my experiences or forcing my mind to become silent. It was about allowing myself to think naturally again, reducing the level of monitoring and reconnecting with my own internal world. Just enjoying life and now allowing negative thoughts to control me, being uncomfortable with the unknown also.
I now do empowerment programmes through a talking reflection session which I help people, psychic mediums especially to recognise and feel more confident. If this is something you are interested in, fill out the form below.
